Real Life, Thoughts

I Will Say “Happy Mother’s Day”

Mother’s Day.  

So bittersweet.

The sweet
Four amazing Littles who call me “Mama.”
Joy and light and laughter

And yet,
the bitter pill is hard to swallow.
Seven Mother’s Days without my own.

The first few years, I just ignored it.
Skipped church.
Stayed in.
My littles were small enough.
They knew no different.
My pain too fresh
The wound too raw
to celebrate motherhood without my Mama.

For some
The Day is only sweet.
I was there once.
Your mother is wonderful.
You have the children you desire.
Your celebration is joyful!
Your cup is full.

For others,
only bitterness reigns.
Your mother was absent
…or abusive…
or has gone before you.
The children you ache for
have gone before you…
or not come to you.
Unmet expectations fill your spaces.
I pray grace and peace for you.
May you find solace today.
Rejoice in those who have mothered you.
Rejoice in those you have touched.

Even in my own missing and wishing,
I can now say, “Happy Mother’s Day!”
And mean it.
My cloud won’t rain on someone else’s parade.
“Life is pain, Highness.
Anyone who says differently is selling something.”*
My cloud ebbs and grows.
My sorrow and joy,
Like oil and water shaken together
Intermingle and separate.

I will rejoice today in what I can rejoice.
I will mourn what I must mourn.

And I will wish you all the Happiest of Mother’s Days, regardless.
Joy be yours.

Grace & Peace,
Carrie

 

*The Princess Bride

 

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